Love my life .

2011-02-19T08:05:00.001-08:00

2011-02-19T08:05:00.000-08:00

Birthday :)

2011-01-23T21:00:00.000-08:00

Yeah , I'm finally a year older last 3 days .. And I bet this year birthday was far away alot better then last few years .. Mentioning about last few year birthday is giving me a very hard pain .. But , told myself that was the past .. Its the future that concerns me the most now . I guess dear have giving me the best present , Samsung camera plus swensens treat . Baby wasnt that so good on that day coz she was real slippy and keep on crying .. But after a while , she fall asleep . And when we were thinking to go back , she woke up !! Pity her , she did'nt get to feeel the fun ; which I did .. But its okay , anw, she got a new toys now . Finally she have her own play tent ! and she's really cute , she starts to bring in her dora chair in , her lego toys to play or sit inside . She can do anything inside but hopefully not sleeping in it !! haha .

and sooo , I sooo love my birthday !!

Thanks to those who make it happen . Aprreciate it lots ! :)

another urged .

2010-05-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

I'm lack of self esteem .

I'm lack of confident .

And all thanks to you , and lastly , the pass is haunting me back ; even in my dreams .

I know it sucks to feel this way , me myself don't want to fell this way but it keeps coming on my mind . I can't help but think , think and think .. At times , I just felt really hard to look myself at the mirror . Oh god , please help me . Howeer , I'm still gonna be myslef and no one can change that . If you don't like the way I look or even the way I dress , don't stick with me then . Am not asking much , but please love me for who I am .

------------------------------------------

Baby Amelia is turing 11 mths this 16 and next mth she is turning 1 yr old !! Dear have been really pampered her until sumhow I feel I don't get much attention from him .

How fast and indeed she have grow so much . But her mouth is still talkative as ever .

But I still love her to bits .

And yes , I badly need a new stroller . I sold my Maclaren and I need another lightweight stroller for my mom to used of for me myself for travelling .

Too bad that Dear is not a stroller freak just like me . But sumhow , for sure I'm gonna find the money to buy a new or 2hand ones . The one that I have been using is killing me !! So heavy !!

I've been email-ing my resume, trying to get a job ; eventhough I don't want to work .

I just think that people are not respecting my decision ; how I wish I'm a stay at home mom . Taking care of the kids , doing housework . But yeah , I'm still looking for a job .

Pheww ...

2010-02-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

Okay , its been a while since I update my blog . Suddenly got the urged to update it . Dont know why . Feel like tyring I guess . Hmm .. so where should start ? think many thngs had happened lately ..

My used-to-be classmate lil sis passed away . Was really shock when I heard that news . I knew her , talked to her , in the same school also ! From primary to secondary ! and I'm really sad regarding what had happen . She was a great student . May her soul rest in peace .

One of my friend also recently told me that his dad passed away out of a sudden . He said his father suffered from a sudden heart attack and passed away . Its kindda sad , his father was the bread winner ,a nd now her mom need to go to work and I'm glad that they are doing fine now .
From this kind of things that happen , now I know , anytime , anyday , people can go . I kindda treasure people around me more than before .

So , today is valentine's day . And I think I lonely now . Obviously , I didn't celebrate it . Even with dearest dear around , I dind't celebrate it ; even the pass three years ; cause we treat everyday like a velentine's day . Still loving each other more everyday . Chey ! hehehe .. And guess what , its like 44 more days , till he is back beside me , going through every single mins with me . Somehow , I felt like dreaming . guess time really gone fast . Thank god . But the more nearer the day s gonna come , I felt like it took oo long .. Don't know why . Dear felt it too . But we both believe that the day will come somehow ; and I'm faithfully and patiently waiting for him . I love you lah dear !

Dia Amelia , my little angel have grown . And I think I'm getting tired already . Her mouth non-stop making noise ( learning to talk guess ) ; she know how to crawl already ! ( which make her crawl under my parents bed and always under the kitchen table !! ) ; and she learning how to stand already !! ( which she alwyas used my body to support nstead of the table ) .. Small things like ths really make me happy although it may sound irritating . Hehehe . But kinnda sad also cause dear have not been with me all the time when baby is growing . But , soon he will !

Okay , so yesterday , I pcked up one stroller ; maclaren techo 2005 version . The stroller seems to be n good condition though but very dirty . i wonder when is the last tiem the previous mummy washed and slean the stroller . Some sticky area . But , no worries , all cleaned already but some stubborn stains that can't be cleaned no matter what .

Looking forward to 30.03.2010 ; 11am .

happy birthday .

2010-01-22T05:18:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF .

Tomorrow is my birthday .. I guess this year will not be celebrating .. Not to mention last year celebration .. It suck ; and I guess because of what hapenned last year , I don't want to celebrate anymore ... Thinking back , it really make me wanna cry .. Stupid promises from dear and his stupid attitude ..

Dear is not going to celebrate with me this year , last year he treat me to eat curry fish head at Mustafa .. I just can't accept what had happen during the very moment last year when it sruck 12 am .. Damn it , When now , the person is no longer outside , here with me , I'm kinnda thinking , I don't mind not celebrating but having you around beside me is what I always wanted .

To dear , I'm a big girl now . You watch me grow for 3 years straight . To a student , A girlfriend , A mother and A wife .. I don't wish to get anything from you .

I just want you to change into a better person , most of all , be faithful , be a good daddy .

Let bygones be bygones .

Thinking back , we had our bad and good times together .

and never anyone makes me sooo happy .

Thats is my darling Dia Amelia and her daddy .

I love you !!!

time .

2010-01-19T00:48:00.000-08:00

I think I have been missing dear alot lately and almost everyday . It like 2 mths plus and finally he will be released . Time really fly fast I guess . Thank god . But when time really fly fast , I'm getting more and more unpatient . But I know , time will come . Just have to wait and wait .

For 7 mths , I think I have been strong enough to what had happen ; unexpectedly . I know things happen for a reason . Its just a lesson learnt . Just learnt from it and never repeat it . I think what have I have gone through is juat an ups and downs in life that I need to overcome Maybe god is testing me .

By the way , Baby is already 7 months now and I just love her sooo much ..

why ?

2010-01-11T07:51:00.002-08:00

Really felt different today . What mother said really kindda hurt me alot .. Why ? Why must things happen to turned out this way ? Is there any reason behind everthing that had happen ? I knew it it a lesson learnt but I just can't accept what she said this morning ..

I knew I have no say when it come to baby monthly needs , as me myself are not working .. I know its been tough for you to be the bread winner for our family ..I knew baby monthly needs is almost nearly to hundred dollar just for the milk formula and diapers itself ..

Sometimes I don't understand , when I said I want to work and will ask my auntie to take care of baby , she will said that auntie is busy with her grandchildren and have family problems .. But this morning and some other times , she will said that please go find a job and let your auntie take care of our baby .. I really don't understand .. 1st you said don't , now you said please .. So which excatly that you want .. Really want you to feel verrryy satisfied ..

Frankly , its not that I am very lazy to find jobs .. I do send resume .. And its very hard for me to go out for interview . How about my baby ?? Bring here along is it ?? Sometimes people make it sound soo easy but when actually its not .. Futhermore , Mom-in-law said that having a own mother taking care of her own baby is different from an outsider/guardian taking care of my daughter .. and I think its absolutely true ...

She did even said that why must baby stay at Ang Mo Kio with her daddy ? and I was thinking that is she trying to separate them ?? .. And I just don't like her saying that " tak tentu kau dengan dier boleh kekal lama " ... I have been praying each day , hoping that we could last being together , and I know dear must have been doing that too .. and I know dear have done something wrong , but please , people change .. Not siding him or whatsoever .. Just stating the fact .. She don't know how life in jail is ; but I really know .. Especially , when your baby is born during the time he is already inside .. I'm really sure , dear blame himself for this and I know he must be wondering how it felt being a father .. Its been nearly 7 months and dear only get to hold her for once and less than 20 minutes .. I think I know excatly how he feel ..

I really hope that mother won't think anything bad about him .. Cause this time I'm reall confident that he changed .. He is no longer young , but not saying that he is old . I think he got brains to think ..

Don't worry dear , I must try to make things work for you , therefore , please show my family , especially mom that you have changed ..

Thinking back what she said , make me cry alot and I have been thinking alot today .. I think it just hurt me alot .. During this period of time , I'm really hope , I want , I really really want dear to be here , beside me .. I knew I would not be in this situation when you are here ..

I know he will feel very very sad when he knew about this .. I'm really sorry , I really don;t want this things to happen too .. But we both must make things work ..

anniversary .

2010-01-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

Happy 2 years and 7 months anniversary dear .

To my dearest dear , no one can ever replace you in my heart .

Ups and down , thruogh thick and thin together .

Being with you is what I always wanted .

Those happy or the sad moments will always be remembered .

I never knew that I could able to stay and go on with you this long .

But when I think back , I knew you are the one for me .

I never knew that I can finally marry this guy which I knew on the phone .

And everything was just an coincidence .

This 2 years and 7 months have make me happier .

Words can describe how happy am I to be with you .

Many things have happen back then .

But I don't wish to remember cause the future is what I want to focus .

A future with you .

Having our one and only daughter indeed make us a much better person .

Much better parents .

Make us bucked up and make us matured .

Therefore , she makes us happy .

I just want you to know that I really love you from the bottom of my heart .

No one else can replace you .

You watch me grow .

1st to a girlfriend , then to a wife and finally am a mother now .

You were always there for me whenever I have problems .

Age are just numbers .

I don't really care what other may think about you .

I just you are great . Never ever been selfish .

Let bygones be bygones .

I'm still trying very hard to forget the past .

People make mistake but just don't ever repeat it .

10 June 2007 will always be in my heart .

You and baby Amelia is everthing to me .

I love you !

behbey .

2010-01-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

Love my dear naughty daughter ,

who is turning 7 months ,

who loves playing with remote control and loves playing with paper and

I swear she mean the whole world to me .

counted ,

2010-01-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

Baby Dia Amelia have grown bit by bit .. She's turning 7 months this months .. See the picture of her .. Cute huh ? hahah .. Well , seeing her grow really make me so happy .. and she really love the remote control at home .. Kept putting it into her mouth and she love paper so much .. Guess she wants to be an artist like her daddy ..

So , I have to admit that its like 83 more days to go .. Really can't wait for the moment that I have been waiting for .. Each and every minute , I kept thinking what the hell is he doing now ??

Next visit , 5 January .. i don't know if mom in law is going or not .. If not , I die cause I cannot bring pram for Baby cause it's heavy .. Need to used a carrier instead .. My shoulder is gonna hurt !! But for the sake of dear , I don't mind really ..

And dear , please buy her a lightweight stroller please , those with not reversible handle please ...

shit .

2009-12-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

It just kills me , seeing a newly father holding his daughter on his arms .

And for no reason , I cried .

I just kept saying to myself 'SOON' ....

This is it .

2009-12-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

I break down , just when started to think about dear .. Don't know if I'm thinking the right thing and person . Oh my , its like few more months to 30 March .. I asked myself " Am I really looking forward to it " OR " am I giving him a flase hope ? " Despite knowing that I'm not 101% confident .. Hmm ..

Its true what people say ,

" Sometimes , what you think is the best , might not always be the best " ...
Sometimes , when you think you want your daughter to have a complete family , the other person is always trying to do something behind your back ..

" It takes two hand to clap " ..
You need to cooperate and communicate with each other to this relationship last .

Looking at Baby Amelia , growing , give me a sense of satisfaction . I'm actually a mother now , can take care of her . I remember he said , I was useless . So , I prove it now ..

To derest dear :

I hope what had happen give a damn BIG impact on you . Everyday life had been different eversince 5 June 2009 , a day which I believe life had to go on , even w/o you .
What had happen really makes me bucked up , look forward to the future and off course , being a good mother to one very beautiful daughter . Lets forget the past and concentrate our long future ahead . I've struggle but I make it . Which basically , I'm trying to be strong here .
Things happen for a reason . Maybe , who knows , you might be a better personafter being locked away from your loved ones . Me , myself , wishes to see you as a good father , a good husband to be . Let bgones be bygones , but I won't forget whaat you actually did behind me .
Things can be easy to forgive , but never easy to forget . Being heartbroken is what I fear the most .

May allah make us a better person , a better parents .

Countdown to 30 March 2010 ; 11AM .

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Mother promise that she get a new pram for Dia , so excited .. So in love with pram now .. haha .. Thanks mother . Guess she have been helping me financially ALOT !! despite all the financial problem at home .. Mo ther will also be a mother ; and I can tell you that she is the best ..

2010 is coming soon .. Will not be going countdown like I used to .. Will count down with dearest daughter ..

and my wish for 2010 ,

- settle dwn
- a gd wife
- a gd mother
- be happy
- watch baby grow
- start working

baby

2009-12-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

My angel , Baby Dia Amelia have grown so fast and getting soo chubby .. See now can seat inside walker already .. She just love to sit in it and get so excited and play woth the walker toys that is right in front of her . In no time , she will be able to play with both her mummy and daddy .. Real soon .. In 3 months time .. Me , myself is getting really unpatient .. Looking forward to 30 March 2010 ..

I did some flash back , I just think that I have gone through alot without dear and I really hope he could understand what am I going through and hoping that this will give him a big impact and he got to buck up and be a responsibity father .. Go and continue your tattoo job , I won't mind but please don't ever repeat what you have done to me .. I'm getting sick and tired when I started to think about it and even talk about it .. Sometimes , this thing really lose my self-esteem .. I may not be pretty or whatsoever but I know I can be a good wife , taking care of your everyday meal , your clothes and everything , make sure that it is clean , wash and iron .

I finally understand how it feel to mother and those hard time really make me buck up . I became more like a muture adult now . I'm just hoping that what have happen give a big mpact on yourself . I swear I will be there for you once everything settle .

Biar susah senang sama-sama , I janji .

Went shopping with hot mummy , Shalurb .. This idiot , I said bring along your daughter but she didn't bring .. So like finally she got herself a job .. Work hard lah k , you got to kids to support .. Ya , shopping with her is tiring .. But kinnda fun also , she so funny at times .. Guess will meet you again for shopping alright !

Forgot to mention , met Suzy and her family .. Pass back the pram , got one lady wanted to buy it . And I just think that she does not like the pram but does not have any other choice cause I told her it is a confirm , no backing out .. Hhahah ..

Updated .

2009-11-20T06:33:00.000-08:00

Its been quiet a long time since I have update my blog .. Been to few reason actually .. My sis lappy have been lack this few weeks , don't know why also .. Well , I guess things is the same for me .. Been taking care of baby all day and ya , she turn 5 months already and seeing her grow really is making me so happy ; don't know why also lah .. haha , but I just love her alot .. Okay , met dear that day , I'm glad he is doing fine .. Just miss him like hell , really ... I really looking to build our future together ..

Well , last weeks went vivo with some of my old classmates .. and ya , I really enjoy .. I'm glad that they are continuing their studies all , and some of them even have started working .. Some of them even look different .. We went vivo not to shopping but we spend the time slacking .. and yes , I did we got lots of things to talk about .. If can , we want to spend the whole day there .. and Eza is really crazy .. hahah ...

And ya, went unite square yesterday with Shalurb . Plan to go there to buy a stroller toy for my baby but ended up I bought nothing but Shalurb does !! And I swear my leg was so damn tired when I reach home . She bought Barney bear for her dearest daughter , Dannen and two fabulous dress at cotton on kids and almost all the things I saw there really catch my attention !! And actually it really doesn't cost alot but there is too many to choose from .. ahh !! Dear , we got to go there together !! and ya , she also bought this Charlsd and Keith handbag , haha .. and I just think that I make her more confusing , all the hangbags there really caught my attention , I swear , and whenever she choose a bag ,I will keep on saying the other bag is much more nicer . Even when she has already pay the bags that she bought , she thought of changing to another one .. ahhaha ... really funny lah and I really have much fun there .. Guess will shopping to buy baby Amelia stuffs again there soon and I make sure I will go with dear !!

Pissed off with a person who wanted to buy my friend buggy board , bargain like hell , think that the thing cost soooo cheap when its original price is almost 90 bucks . Stupid . Can bargain lah , but be reasonable can ?? And ya , please for goodness sake , don't ask me if the buggy board can be attach and hood to your stroller .. I only know pram/stroller which have maclaren pattern can be attched , the other type of pram/stroller , please , please check it out yourself . What if I meet you from far than suddenly the buggy board can't connect to your pram/stroller .. My trip will be a wasted unless you pay for my trip :)

Hari raya haji is around the corner too .. and mom-in-law asked me to go to one of dear aunt place to celebrate a his aunt is going to cook .. But still thinking lah cause might be boring as I'm not too close with them .. Not to be forgotten , mom-in-law also received a letter for the early released and they wrote that we need to wait for another week .. Haiz , get got to wait again but I'm really praying that what I want will happen and I really hope really really soon !! Please and I want it to happen badly ..

Finger crossed **

Loved

2009-11-10T01:41:00.000-08:00

Today , me and dear anniversary !!
2 years and 5 months we have been together .
I love you and I always do .
Looking forward to build our future real soon dear !!
You and baby Amelia will always be in my heart !!
Love you !

Missed .

2009-11-08T05:06:00.000-08:00

Was at home the whole day ! So bored . Was like surfing the net the whole day actually . Mom-in-law suppose to come today with Dear's grandma and auntie ; but last minute , mom-in-law called saying that she will not be coming ..

Well , I received a photo comment on Dear photo by somebody I knew ; obviously .. And I don't her comment .. Hmm .. I know what you are trying to say but , " Never judge a book by it's cover " .. I know the people will look at Dear in a different way , so do I , in the first place when I met him . I'm not trying to side him or whatsoever but I believe Dear is kindda a kind person to me . He is not rude to his parents or anything . He's not kindda type that always trying to find trouble with people . Don't let his tattoo be your judgement , you don't know him , so might as well don't even think of something bad about him . Will appreciate it lots .

and I miss my dearest dear like hell !!

Baby gal

2009-11-07T04:31:00.001-08:00

Babay Amelia have grown . She's turning 5 months soon !
Fast huh ? The fact that she is growing to a more hyperactive baby ,
more noisy , really noisy !! hahah ..
until sometime , it get on my nerves .. But she kindda cute lah .
Mummy love you baby !!

Dearest

2009-11-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

I don't know how exactly I feel right now .. It's like a mixed feelings , hate , love , care .. Omg .. i think I should really think about this cause this concern my future ; so got to think the very best way or decision .. Okay , I met Dear the last 2 days , I think he's doing fine , but he can't wait for his released . And oh dear , I miss you too ! ; like hell ; seriously .. More pimple on his face , hahah .. stress eh ?

To Dearest Dear ,
We've gone through up and down together ,
being able to spend the rest of my life with you is what I always wanted .
I thank god for making me strong , being able to forgive and forget ,
making me into more matured person , most importantly a better mummy .
What had happened indeed making
me and you into a more matured and better parents .
We can't be what we used to be , we got to bucked up
and changed for our lil girl sake .
With her in my life , she had make me strong and therefore
make me learn to treasure the people around me .
Dear , 10 june 2007 , will always be in my mind .
Those both happy yet the unforgettable and those bad moments will
always be remembered .
Therefore , the the bad moments will be a lesson learn .
Promise not to repeat it again .
I just love my life more than before .
Cause I got my 2 precious person .
That you dear and our dearest daughter .
Both of you could never be replaced .

I really love you , yes I really , really do .

Ya , baby Amelia turning 5 months !! Mummy love you too okay !

1 nov

2009-11-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

So , I've make a cake , it's successful ! haha .. father and sister said it's nice but not so nice to me , maybe if i pour melt chocolate over it , than if would be better .. Was frustrating when halfway making the cake , and baby Amelia started crying , no choice but to let her sit at her pram and put her in the kitchen .. She can't help but looking at me making cakes ..I swear the smell of the cake is so nice .. haha .. will try to make other flavor next time .

Meeting Suzy+3 tomorrow .
Tuesday , will visit dear ; can't wait .

and , and , I'm dying to eat chocolate , don't know why .

2009-10-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

Looking at her makes me think of dear even more . Guess I must have been missing him so badly , obviously . So , I've counted 153 more day . You can call me crazy but I did do some counting yesterday .. Hahaa .. So baby Amelia got her very first hair cut .. Still can remember how the auntie cut her hair .. Amelia can't stop moving .. But , okay lah , the haircut was neat and people kept saying she look like a boy after the hair cut .. I just don't like it when people say that , so even going to the supermarket near my area , I purposely make her wear hairbands so that people won't ask me weather my baby is a boy or girl .. hahah ..

Loved

2009-10-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Okay , so i have been spending my whole day with Suzy plus 3 .
3 = very , very active kids !!
Very hard to see them sit still or even make noise .
Like seriously .. haha , I wonder how she can handle 3 of her kids . But they are really wonderful kids la , sometimes they get into my nerves , but they are just to cute to get a scolding from me .. Had few minutes of PEACE , when all the kids have gone to sleep ..
But damn it , only for few minutes! ;)

Baby Amelia sleeping , after a tired day today .

She had a hard time today I guess , thanks to the wonderful kids , haha .. They thought my baby is a baby doll and i think she is being well behaved today than the past few days that I lasted bring her out . She have been growing fast too ! and ya she is getting nosier ! Can be irritating but therefore it makes me happy too ! That show that she is growing !!

Ya , got an job interview tomorrow , will sent Amelia to her grandma place and I need to wake up like around 9 am to settle Amelia first and look at the clock now , it' already 1.30am and I'm still on the computer . Good luck to me , surely have a damn slippy day tomorrow , Thumbs Up ! hahah .. But I'm badly looking for a job to handle Amelia monthly needs !! S o pray hard I'll get it .

Lastly , I've been waiting for a specific letter .. It's been more than a month already and I'm waiting like as though I'm waiting for an apple to drop off a tree .. To the officers , do your job please ,don't keep me waiting can ? and I swear I miss dear badly :(

And ya , to those who spam one of my friend blog , I hope u grow up , be a much more matured teenager . Spamming won't do any good . She can't be bothered with you and if you think you are soo preety , look yourself at the mirror ; ugly please :) and if you have nothing to do and keep on spamming her blog , than , come , come , interview the job with me lah k , can earn money ... stupid-idiotic-unmatured-people-who-are-like-kids ; best described you ; bodoh .

p.s : I've update my blogshop , so mummies , what are you waiting for , take a look and the best thing is , all price are nego !! Baby items are real expensive , so better buy preloved items and save your money ; don't w0rry the cost won't give a big hole on your pockets and all items are still in very good condition .

:)

bestfriend last .

2009-10-19T02:02:00.000-07:00

Latest photo of me and Amelia .
I love her more than anything else .

A to Dearest bestfriend , Nad ,
I never knew bestfriend last this long .
Bestfriends for more than 5 years .
Really treasure this friendship and a million thanks
for being a great bestfriend who willing to go up and down in life
with me .

1

2009-10-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 2 YEAR AND 4 MONTHS DEAR .
My happiness comes from you and our lil daughter .
We've gone thru up and down together .
I swear I love you ; even more each day .

Baby girl is turning 4 months in a few days time .
She's grown real fast .
Mummy and daddy love you !

8 Oct

2009-10-08T01:10:00.001-07:00

Okay , so went to meet my sis just now . She forgot to bring her name tag to work and asked me to go Raffles just to pass her that tag . Bring along baby . Kindda hard to bring her out now , kept crying , especially in the train , and people kept looking at me , like as though I don't know how to take care of my own daughter . Some even shake their heads ; what do they mean by that ? idiot . I'll be peaceful if baby is sleeping while I can enjoying my shopping . Plan to buy her one baby dress at Fox , but none of the dress caught my attention . Baby fox sell affordable
dress , skirt , pant , t-shirts -nice and cute little rompers . Buying expensive clothes for baby is a big NO , baby grow real fast , unless you planned to have another baby and buy clothes that is unisex . Baby stuffs are expensive abd it is importat to buy what they need most . The milk powder can cost $4o/tin and in month maybe they could need 4 tins . Just imagine how much money you will spend .

Well , I seriously miss dear and hoping that he would be right beside me now . I wonder what is he doing now , have he eaten and so on .. I just wished that things didn't happened but I believe if these didn't happen ; until forever , we won't learn our lesson and keep on doing the same mistakes . and i truly believe that Dear have change . Hopefully into a much better person and a good father . I swear I miss him .

And I saw this pram for sale online ..
I swear , everyday I've been online and took a look at it .
And stupid , I also dream about this pram ! haha ..
Scared of other people would might have bought it .
Damn it , If I have the money , I'll be the first one to buy .
Rarely found in Singapore .
Can somebody buy it for me pleeaaassee ...
:)

6 october 2009

2009-10-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Okay , guess this year Raya was .. ermm .. okay lah .. It's the very first raya for my girl .. Dressed up in pick dress , with long tights socks and a hairclip on her head . Big different is , Dear is not here during this year Raya .. Can feel the different .. But no worries , I'm so confident that we will celebrate next year ..

Well , today facebook damn lack .. Like seriously .. And ya , chatted with one of my ex-schoolmates .. The best thing she said was I lost weight .. haha .. Guess she need a new spectacles . I've been gaining weight since I gave birth and tried to control my eating habit but kindda a bit hard . I love juck food and whenever I'm bored , I love them even more ! haha ..

Baby girl have been sick for the last few days .. Actually she got sick because of me . Bring her to the nearest polyclinic and as usual , waited for her number to be called is like waiting for an apple to drop off a tree , seriously ..
She kept crying ; crying very loud that one of the nurse came towards me and let me go in first ..
So that mean I'm cutting queue .. hahah .. and ya , she's turning 4 months soon .. She had grown so fast and can't wait to see her walk soon ..

Ya , waiting for Aisyah baby boy too !!

2 sept 2009

2009-09-02T08:17:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to 30/03/2010 .

Hopefully it's the best and happy day of my life .

Still hurt about what happened .

But things had happened and I can't do anything about it .

May allah make both of us a bettter person and most importantly , more matured parents .

I love you ; I really do .

8 august

2009-08-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

This post is specially to my Dearest Dear Daddy Dd ,

HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY .

Sadly you can't celebrate this year , but I'm very sure you will next year .

I promise with OUR own family .

You not that young ; but I'm not saying you are old but

I wish you could think about us , our future and our lil girl .

I love you and I will always do .

13 july 2009

2009-07-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

SHE'S THE REASON I GO ON .

13 july 2009

2009-07-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

Went to visit dear just now . no words can describe how i feel .
happy , sad , heartbroken .
I can't believe my eyes what I saw at his multiply .
computer are very clever than human now .
so the date that the photo of him with other girls are taken should not be wrong .
yet , he didn't denied . stupid .

I'm sick and tired of being fool around . who do you think I am ?
and why went he is serving his sentenced , than he regret doing it .
If things were to turn out like this , I wish he was inside much earlier !
I have sacrifice alot for him , but nothing yet to be appreciate .
I wish to settle down with him when he released but I'm not really confident that things WON'T happen again .
He may swear , but it's hard to trust him again actually .
marriage is a BIG word with BIG responsibility .
It have to do with my future and I really got to think twice about it .
I don't want to end up being a single parent .

I'm doing this for the sake of my daughter . I want her to have a
father that shower her with lots and lots of love.
I want the best for her .
seeing him cry just now , I kindda show him a can't-be-bothered face , but deep inside me ,
it really touch me . I really hope he is sincere towards our relationship .
treasure me like I treasure him .

and to the very specific girl , who is married with kids and not divorce ,
I wish you could stand back and let me have a happy family with him .
Just imagine if you were in my shoes , I think you understand .
We both girl and Its kindda stupid if we fight or argue about this .
We both are adults so I guess we should think like one .

Next visit is on the thursday and I guess I got alots of things to
talk about to him .

27 June 2009

2009-06-26T23:51:00.000-07:00

Finally , My princess has been born .

16 June 2009 , 6.55 am , and oh , I just love her so much .

Dia Amelia ; thats her name .

Dear personally choose the name his self .

And to dear , although things happened ,

I will take good care of our lil girl .

I love you too .

7 march 2009

2009-04-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

I spend like 4 hours updating and upgrading my blog and my back get really hurts .
I've change the songs , which makes me thinking about dear .
His recently ringtone for his handphone .

I've been spending quality time together with dear and I enjoy it really much .
Time flies very fast when we meet each other . Even a night spend together , I treasure it aots .
Eventhough I and dear have been together for more than a year , I believe dear sense of humour is increasing , he make me laugh non-stop , really .

Problem is a problem . About my problem , handling 2 family in mind is really hard .
But whatever it is , I really hope that it will settle real soon cause I don't want mother to pressure me with all those question which I have answered alot of time , but still , I know
mother cared about me , that is why she kept asking . Ya, I really hope dear problem will be settle soon too ! I felt useless that I can't help but I will keep my eye on you and discipline you in order to settle your problem !

It's hard carrying lil one inside me . I felt tired even when I'm sitting down or obviously standing up . I guess the MRT should create one flexible chair that can make me lie down .
But I still love it though .

Anw , I have been dying to watch movie so hopefully soon !
Ya , I dying to drive a car too ! but too bad , I can only get it next year .

24 March 2009

2009-03-23T04:33:00.000-07:00

I guess Dear have been real kind to upload this photo into my blog , and he said that he love this picture , and so do I . Mother said that this picture looked very original

and I look real chubby . Reallly meh ? haha . I'm scared of gaining weight cause Dear

won't like it . Well , people always said , "Women looked their best during pregnancy " . I have difficulty in sleeping , baby have been hyper-active ; but I still loving it .

12 March 2009

2009-03-11T21:43:00.001-07:00

Buying too early w/o knowing the gender yet = hoping for a girl

Bought it for half the price .

2 OCTOBER 2009

2009-03-10T00:53:00.000-07:00

Okay , I know I have not been updating my blog . Busy lah with some stuffs . So , okay , life have been normal . Hmm .. people might wonder , how my life is without dear .. hard I should say .. I dind't know handling one kid or a baby is hard . I'm not saying I regret , mummy love you , don't worry . It's just that I wish you were beside me seeing her grow .. I've gone through a hard time . But finally , it's over now .

Baby girl have grown . In 14 more days , she is turning 4 months . Fast huh ? Seeing her smile really makes my day . Having her in my life really change me into a better person . I swear . Raya this year was okay2 . and to some of my makciks and pakciks , what with that look ? ... Thay looking at me asthough they are going to eat me up or maybe I own them some money . Things had happened and I don't really care what you guys say ! Really :)

Been stuck at home for this few days . I think I'm getting fatter . Can't stop eating juck food once I'm at home . Thinking of going diet but I swear I can't even do it ! Haha !

Lastly , Like seriously , I miss dear .. Will be waiting for you . I swear :)

10 febuary 2009

2009-02-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 20 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY ; 1 YEAR , 8 MONTHS .

I just think and believe that I've loved you even more .

I thank god for giving me a chance to know a person like you .

I treasured the moments we had together .

Although we met like almost everyday ,

I kept missing you each and every mintute whenever

you are not beside me .

Things may happen in the past , but I believe

the future is what we are focussing for .

I love you dear !

5 febuary 2009

2009-02-04T09:28:00.001-08:00

I don't know babies could be this photogenic . Cute huh ?

5 febuary 2009

2009-02-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

I've changed my blog songs .
and thanks to beloved dear .
I just think that this is a great great song ; just because you recommend me .
hahas .
and it's been a long time since we met right ?
and I swear I kept missing you .

Things actually got better these days .
I don't know what actually makes me happy .
I guess dear and the people surrounding me .

I woke up damn early today , like around 8.40am .
woke up dear then mother asked me to follow her to the market .
Thanks for the breakfast and the red plus white dress you bought for me .
It was nice but kindda too big for me .

some of my friends texted me through msn .
and asked the same question ,
I'm fine guys ! Need not worry anything about me alright .
I'll update you guys if I got news !

1st Feb 2009

2009-02-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

It's the beginning of a new month ; febuary .
January was like okay2 to me actually .
So I really hope febuary will be much better month this year .

I read Yunnie Blog's ; she was actully talking about the
lost of her things outside her house .
Pity the bother that lost his expensive shoe .
Well , Yunnie , I got the same problems too !
I hang my one and only clothes that I love the most outside my house ,
and in a few hours , I came out to take it , it's gone !
and I wonder who might have taken it .
Why is the thief must stole the clothes .
* and to the thief , please put back ; if you are reading this !
haha !!

ya , I don't know but I wanna tell and old story that old people used
to tell to their grand children or to their own children ,
about LIARS .
and I very sure you guys might have heard about it ,
but those who haven't ; read this part .

In a kampung there live a guy named , let say , Ali .
Many people don't know him as he wasn't any of the popular kid that is staying there .
But people only know him as the ' Banana Boy ' cause he will always collect banana leave
and sell it at the market .
But one day , for no reasons ,
he told the whole kampung that there was a big tiger at the forest ,
he saw with his very own eyes when he was busying collecting banna leaves .
Many of the kampung people got very scared and all of them stayed at home
while some if the kampung guys when up to look for the tiger and kill it before it kills
the residents .
But the tiger was not in sight .
From then on , people knew that Ali was lying .

A few days later , Ali came at the kampung and shouted
" There is a big wild tiger coming to our area "
But none of them trust him .
But this time , it's really a big wild tiger .
Luckily , it didn't kill any of the people there as they manage to kill it .
soo ...

* a lesson to it is that : once you lied , even just onced ; people hardly ever trust you again .
so only lie when you need too !

30 January 2009

2009-01-30T08:46:00.000-08:00

supdate again . I guess I got alot of things to say .
went lepak-ing with nadiah today .
was really really bored and called her to meet up .
coincidence she was on MC , for her swollen eyes .
wish to see her eyes get well soon .

I've turned 17 last few days .
eventhough my birtthday turned into a BIG disaster with the BIG argument and stuffs ,
I'm still happy that things were okay after that .
I just hope that the mistake you have made will be the very last .
I promise I'll change ; if my attitude have been different eversince things have happen .
I would like to thanks dear for the very BIG present .
Thanks for the fish head curry that we ate at mustafa ; it was nice .
the biggest present that I have received is basically you .
ups and downs ; we have been through .
I pray everyday that each and and everyday the love is still growing
and I pray that arguments won't let us be apart and make an arguments
a lesson learnt .
and I promise to find a job .

and to passerby , put down your name .
if I were to know you , then I think I will answer your TOO-OBVIOUS question .

and to mom , thanks for the make-up !
appreciate it lots .

22 january 2009

2009-01-21T08:59:00.000-08:00

It's been like 3 days since I've update my blog .
I've spend those 3 days with dear .
things happen there ; back at his home .
I just hope tha you will think back and realise that you did me wrong .
I just think that in this period of time , you should not ENJOY .
Enjoy as in a way that you are trying to do ; that day .
I swear I hate it .

Okay , I'm turning a year older tomorrow .
and I'm happy about it .

17 January 2009

2009-01-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

Saturday today , and no plan as usual .
11pm now , and sis just got home .
Nobody home tomorrow .
Sis working , the other one busy with boyfriend , mom working and
father is the one at home but have plan to go out .

So I'm meeting dear tomorrow .
And damn , I think I need to wait at his house for like a few hours untill he got home
which is usually before 9pm as I will be reaching there around afternoon .
Nevermind , at least I got the time to spend with him .

Chatted with my one and only Ahgerl .
I miss her ; yes I do .
I miss the stupid brother too ; just hope that he will returned to school .
It's never too late .
And Ahgerl , don't worry , next time I go check-up
you can accompany me alright .
Anyway , it's so kind of you to volunteer yourself to accompany me .
Ya , she told me there's one cute guy in her school , hahas .
Go ahead and smile at him next time , I'm sure he will smile back at you
and therefore will be keen to get to know you .
Trust me ; preety girl :)

Ya , kindda bored this afternoon , so I hang aroung alone at Westmall .
Bought myself bubble tea , and double chocolate muffin .
and thanks to the person that knocked me outside 'This Fashion' shop ,
cause I've wasted my $1.50 ; bubble tea ! hahs !
and it was my favourite too ; strawberry milktea . hmph !

Guess will not be updating tomorrow ,
I wanna spend my whole day tomorrow with dear .
Anyway , I miss you already ; I mean now .

16 January 2009

2009-01-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

I just think that life is getting more and more boring .
I've been sitting at home doing basically nothing .
I just wish that somebody is here to entertaint me .
My TV is my new bestfriend .
Thanks to the TV show ; that help me kill my boredom !

I really lost my appetite this few days .
I became more choosy with food now .
Everything that seems really tempting and delicious to me seems
like nothing to me now .
I guess fastfood will help me filled my empty stomach .

I'ce chatted with my ex-classmates .
Thay have the same problems as me .
Unsucessful to ITE , look for jobs but can't get one .
Stay and home then felt so bored .

Text-ed dear , and he just can't stop making me smile .
at least , he do make my day .
I love you larhs okay :)

16 January 2009

2009-01-16T15:29:00.000-08:00

halllu . It's been a loong time since I update my blog .
But I promise to update from now on .
Sister just bought a new laptop .
Very cute , very small , very light , very pink
and I'm very jealous .
Well at least she still lend me her laptop .

Okay . Talking about school . It suck . Really .
Troublesome in another word .
Have apply for the January intake but it was unsucessful . Damn .
Guess I have no choice but to apply for the April intake .
But then , think back that the chances are still very very low as
the student that didn't make it to poly will apply for it too .

Plan to look for a job . I wanna own my own laptop too just like my sis .
therefore , helping my mom with the financial at home .
Many things had happened ; but don;t wish to talk about it .

Dear and I have been doing well ; alhamdulillah .
Even arguments do occur , I think I know him even better .
Many things that have happened and I'm trying my very best to forgive and
forget eventhough some things are hard to be forgiven .
With what happening right now , I'm glad he is responsible , willing to help and talk .
Glad too cause he finally gets a job rather than staying at home .
I want to continue life as per normal despite things may have happened .
susah , senang , sama-sama , I janji .